Insperation

Hi... whats up... short and sweet, just want you to know im thinking about you.. lovve you miss you and hope your ok,... I need you, remember that... im tryin you that everyday~DAD

...BOOM

I woke up with a head arche. Not fun. Hope your doing ok, your mother said something about they were having a Birthday party for you sounds fun. I might try to come. I miss you buddy. School is actually getting fun. Thats what makes it worth it and the fact that ill make more money to help take care of you a lot better. I still want to finish painting my car, and I want you to help because you said you will. Well Ill ask you when I see you sometime. Love you and your always in my thoughts.~DAD

Good Morning

Hello,

I woke up and thought about you and getting up for school... I really hope its good, i miiss you so much buddy. I want to see you run off to school and than return and tell me how your day was.. and everything you did, and I mean EVERYTHING... (Laughing) I wonder what you like doing at school... Math, Science, Social Studies, English, or ALL OF IT. (Like your DAD)

I liked football but at the time didnt like getting hit around. At the time wasnt my thing anymore. But I really like music and played a Viola. And I draw a lot. (less now, not much inspiration) I still know you will do your best or if not tell me or your mother so we can help you, because together we can be stronger. Remember that ~DAD

Lasting Fight

I keep tying to do what I think is right and listen to others that tell what might help, but when it comes to your mother Im lost. Your young and dont know me how you should, thats both of us for that matter, but i dont want to fight disagree or dont not like your mother... Im not confused... No no wait I am confused, ive made mistakes have lots of things I wish and want to go make and do different and change. None of which are you, I love you and happy your here. But today my world is dropped out from under my feet. And that happens from time to time and you need to just push thru. I am scared to see you right now do to my past envolement in this situation, but I want to see you, but I sit here wanting to fight but not knowing how. Funny I think if i told you that you have the smartest logical answer of what to just do. I love you ~DAD

Long long hual is Hard

So its geting hard the more days that go by to not see you or talk to me, even though you dont like talking to, of all people, me on the phone. But i MISS you your my boy my son, you are my life. What I do now is because of you. Like right now im getting my certifacation in PHLEBOTOMY so I can get a job JOB to get paid more money so it can go to you. Its been hard trying to do all I can when it seemed i wasnt going to make it.

I started a landscaping business for you. I brought my actually first car for you. I got a better car to drive you around in. So now im doing something ive never donne or know what to do, but im doing it for you. I love you Benjamin, I hope your thinking about that now and know it.

I saw a neat video about space and the planets and where they can from. It was really cool, made me think. I also have a great idea, come up with them all the time, to help sell a product to sale to other countries and make money and jobs here in the USA. Anyway, i will be ok so dont worry I love you and I know your safe but if you need me please think it and ill know.~Dad

Being strong

I have to be tuff... Today was a big deal and thats whats making it great, its a lot... But I have to do this, its a chance, and they dont come often... bit when they do you have to take it... With both hands, and not looking... the biggest part is that you know you'll land and be better than you were. I miss you miss you, means more than a lot.
Sweet dreams~Dad

Hey Benjamin,

Im excited today... Im starting school. Its been a minute since I've gone but now am happy its happening. I know your doing school now, and I know your going to do great your my son, am just a little slower than most, lol. I really miss you. I know all that snow came down last week. I know you had fun in it. Hope sometime we'll get to jump in some snow together... I slide down some ice with you. Will be nice.

Anyway, I wonder what your doing right now... I know your leaving school but I wonder what your thinking... I am thinking about you all the time... I miss you, I stay happy and hopeful toward the future and not look back at the past... But to be honest its not always so easy. But it will be ok. I know it will, it haas to be. I will be great, Im not going anywhere from you. DAD ~fin

This ones for you

I miss you Benjamin. Sorry the things that have happened and goin the way they have. For right now, i guess, I wont see you. But its ok. In so I am going to post here for you everything you miss till I see you. I love you very much and this way is the least way in hurting anyone and for anyone to think I am doing anything out of the situation between me and your mother. I love your mother and your family and hope in the end everyone can be happy with me and know im here for you and I love you. I knwo you know it... But Im your father and I will do what I can for you to know that to... So for now... I will be here for you...